The Globe and Mail had a short but very interesting article about some research done by Peggy Kleinplatz at the University of Ottawa. Apparently when she put out the call for "great lovers" she was contacted by many older married couples - those who had enjoyed marriage for over 25 years. Kleinplatz found that:
-Several ingredients for “great sex” emerged: being present; connection; deep sexual and erotic intimacy; extraordinary communication; interpersonal risk-taking and exploration; authenticity; vulnerability, and transcendence.
-Optimal sex gets surprisingly better with experience and becomes self-perpetuating.
-Aging may be an asset towards optimal sexual development.
-The findings go against how popular culture portrays fantastic sex, a depiction that stresses performance, technique and novelty. This image of sex sends mixed messages that create unrealistic expectations, anxiety, shame and guilt.
The study brings up an interesting point, what if most of the messages we hear about sex in the media (magazines, TV, movies, internet) are based on untruths? Maybe sex before marriage isn't "normal" or "healthy" and maybe it's not impossible to wait til your wedding? Maybe you don't have to be super skinny/buff/attractive to attract a sexual partner and be able to enjoy great sex? Maybe seeing soft or hard porn actually does affect a person in their heart and mind and will affect their relationships in negative ways? Maybe sex is not only for the young but can actually be better and hotter as you age? I love it when research shows us that our ideas, the ideas we are fed everyday can be wrong, even damaging. Perhaps for us Christ-followers we need to be reminded every now and then that the media isn't the best source for our ideas and info on sexual intimacy . . . and that sometimes we start to believe the lies that we hear - and shouldn't.
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