Nostalgia

nostalgia - (noun) the longing for something past.


I've decided I don't like moving very much. It's not so much the stresses of having to pack up and leave. It's the going through your stuff. When I go through my stuff I get terribly nostalgic. I am reminded about things and it makes me wistful, sad, emotional. Today I found:

-A picture of myself when I was Riker's age.
-A map of Belize (where we went on our second honeymoon).
-Old bike magazines and pictures.
-Letters from old friends.
-Memento's from my days as camp counselor (that I kept to remind to pray for my campers).
-Notes from those who I've ministered to and ministered to me.
-Maps from outdoor adventures with friends and family.

There is something very personal and unsettling about looking at one's old stuff. I find I don't want to throw anything out. I'm worried that if I do I will forget the precious memories and people who my "junk" reminds me of. I get nostalgic and I find myself almost overwhelmed by quick floods of emotion. Jobina is at camp this week with the kids so it's even worse. I find I have to take breaks from the packing just to keep myself together! Weird, usually I'm fairly even keeled emotionally.

Perhaps for me, moving is actually a good thing. It helps me to look beyond the immediate and remember the past. Remembering God's goodness and his blessings gives me joy but it also makes me sad. But I think it's a good kind of sad. The sad that brings a lump to my throat but a lump that I savor and don't want to go.

Well, that's enough of a break - I've got to get back to packing . . .