We all want to change something. We want to be thin, smart, ethical, happy, sober, spiritual, talented, forgiving, etc. But often we don't want it enough to do the work necessary. We think we really want it, but we don't. We want something else more - usually the comfort of not working hard, of not sacrificing something, or not losing the thing or things that aren't making us long-term happy but help us to cope in the short term.
We try to convince everyone around us how hard life is and how we so much want to change but alas, we cannot. I have an idea to try something different: be honest with yourself. If you can't find the motivation to change realize that you just aren't ready or motivated enough yet! Don't tell people you want to change. What you really want is to be wanting to change on a level that will actually produce action in you. Once you are sufficiently motivated, you can change (if you choose to). Do you just wait around for it to happen to you? No, you must find your motivation. Or let it go. Either way, torturing yourself isn't going to help you. As Libby said on Lost a few seasons ago: "If you want to change . . . then change."
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